Alone in the World

I think solipsism has its advantages — it’s the idea that I’m the only player in the game. It puts all responsibility on me, which may sound daunting, but I don’t take it too seriously. My primary takeaway is that everything that happens to me is MY fault — which sounds bad, but also means I can fix it. I’m not a passive victim of my surroundings, I’m the guy in charge. I may be a masochist that likes to hurt myself — but anytime I want, I can change those circumstances.

So when I think of my childhood for instance, I did it, I caused all that nonsense. WHY? Well apparently I’m a masochist that enjoys freaking myself out. There was no other perpetrator but me, not my mom, dad, siblings, relatives, schoolmates, teachers, strangers — no one but me to blame. Within that context, I never even deal with the concept of forgiveness — there’s no one to forgive. I made the mistake, I was in a negative mental-state and caused myself to have an unpleasant experience — that’s it — done.

So nowadays, if I’m having a tense interaction with another person, I say to myself: “whoa, I must be in a bad mood, I’m even manifesting an unpleasant scene. I better calm down and get in a good-mood, obviously my attitude is causing this negative scenario to develop right before my eyes.” And it works, I don’t blame anyone but myself — and when I further analyze my mental state, I find that I WAS in a bad mood prior to the tense interaction. The evidence is there, I DID do it.

I’ve had this perspective for awhile now, and it’s worked wonders. It’s allowed me to leapfrog over that whole “coming to terms” with people stuff, I don’t have to hash anything out, I don’t have to “forgive” anyone. It’s like it never happened. I suppose it’s a cheat-code of sorts — but I’m fine with that. And who knows, it might even be true.

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Seeing is Believing

Dear Rich, what if magic ISN’T real, what if random-chance IS the only determiner of outcomes, what if the world IS a harsh and brutal hell-scape in which you must struggle for survival? What if you’re only deluding yourself?

Well dear reader, unfortunately the cat’s already outta the bag. When I was younger, those possibilities had some plausibility, but I’m too old now and I’ve experienced too much. Wishes work, random-chance is a fictional mechanism, and the world is a well-functioning fulfillment factory. And I did delude myself for several decades in fact, I kept telling myself how scary and horrible the world was. Now that I’ve seen otherwise, I can’t go back.

Yes I still see some nasty things, but those scenes are just remnants of a reforming masochist. There’s no doubt that you’ll see whatever you want to see in this world — it’s a fulfillment factory, remember? I can still conjure up gloomy days, but beyond the clouds I can sense the sun is always there, shining bright as always. Whenever I want, I can let go of my character, I can stop focusing on my story and become the watcher. From that vantage point, the intensity resets — I return whenever I’m ready.

The idea of random-chance is a scare-tactic used to make life seem more thrilling and dangerous. It’s fun for sure, but it’s only a mechanism of make-believe. It’s great if you’re a masochist attempting to evoke a sense of suspense and potential doom.

Logic and the lack-of-magic is a limiting-mechanism, an artificial obstacle — this concept adds constraints to make accomplishment seem impossible. But it’s just a story-telling gimmick to make life appear harder than it is — which increases frustration (a favorite feeling of masochists).

The idea of struggling within a harsh world is another scare-tactic. But if you examine the concept closely, it’s such an easy facade to see-through. In my own life for example, obviously my cunning, skill, and vigilance aren’t the reasons I’m still alive — that’s absurdly comical. So anytime I go into “survival mode” I laugh at myself — me versus the world is a silly concept. My existence is sustained by a benevolent author that resides beyond my character — and that’s a fact.

I tried to trick myself into believing otherwise — and I was good at it, so good in fact, that I eventually scared myself awake. I was so full of fear and worry and despair that I finally lost all energy to sustain the deception. I was so despondent that I shut down. And without the energy to maintain the contrived concepts of random-chance, logic-based lack, and the need for struggle, I finally saw life without the lens-of-negativity. Without all that self-imposed pessimism, life seemed okay.

But of course, a good masochist isn’t going to give up that easy. It took many years of back-and-forth to finally get to the point of truly grasping the benevolent nature of existence. The proof was all around me of course, but I stubbornly refused to accept it.

So dear reader, this isn’t a mere “belief” I have, there’s no “faith” involved, I’m not “hoping” these things are true. The life I’m experiencing right now is literally full of magic, it’s lacking in random-chance, I’m not struggling, and the world is actually a pleasant place to live.

Magical Morning

You talk a good game, and it sounds like you’re attempting to crawl out from beneath that crushing rock of negativity, but are you actually having fun?!

Okay, okay, fair question, well check it out. Today, I had a Magical Morning with Michelle. We went for a walk at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Just a walk, simply strolling around for the fun and fitness. It was the perfect weather too, blue-skies and temps in the mid-60s. Since we were pretty early, the parking was perfect — from our car we simply walked to the front gate and waltzed right through, no waiting anywhere. Yes there were crowds, yes some people were waiting, but not us — it was a smooth flow right through. That’s magic.

The sights, the sounds, the smells — it was a pretty day at the park. I could smell the buttered popcorn cooking. We wove through the throngs of bustling tourists, delighting in our aimless jaunt — no ride-lines to wait in, no reservations to keep, just out and about enjoying the atmosphere. It didn’t take us long to traverse the entire place, probably about an hour, we walked a couple of miles in total. We did stop to watch the Stormtroopers march at one point. And I’m glad they’re putting in the Galaxy’s Edge, Star Wars attraction, it should add a bit more space for walking.

How’s that for fun, huh? It’s not everyone’s cup-of-tea, but it sure is mine. Walt Disney World was my childhood happy-place and it’s good to be back. I tried living here a decade ago but I just couldn’t accept it — my pessimistic, lack-minded, masochistic tendencies flared up and I had to leave. But now that I’m relinquishing pessimism, abandoning lack-mindedness, and discarding masochism — I’m feeling a real sense of enjoyment here. It was even my idea to go today, it just seemed like an enjoyable way to spend the morning.

And all it took was several decades of self-inflicted suffering to finally get to this point! Not bad! Imagine being so stubborn that you refused to see the world in any other way than a harsh and brutal landscape hell-bent on your destruction. I was convinced that life meant pain and hardship, that random-chance was the only determiner of outcomes, that all this was a futile experience not worth having. Oops. But I suppose that’s just my story-arc, the typical Scrooge-like character that couldn’t see the goodness that surrounded him. I’m finally waking up to a new and glorious day in which I see the glistening greatness of this world.

Taking a Step Back

I think you’ll notice that the game-of-life pushes the notion of a concrete physical reality mixed with the concept of random chance. And the reason for that, is because those properties maximize the intensity and excitement we feel here. Everything you see and experience is “real”, born of cosmic fire, created through millions of years of evolution and chemical reaction. There’s an epic-ness to it all. “And what’s this!? Any part of it, including me and everyone I know, will be struck-down by random chance?! Gasp!! Oh no!!! So exciting!!!”

But of course, it’s just predetermined pixels designed to appear as if they’re there. It’s obvious when you stop and stare at the gameplay itself, but when you’re lost in your character it certainly feels like the real-deal. And like I mentioned at the start, the game will keep attempting to convince you that it’s real and random.

If you consider the story of the Pilgrims, it’s the story of some people that put the concept of a non-physical-world to the test. Without any special skill or ability, they boarded a boat and went over to the “new world” trusting in their faith of a benevolent world. God will protect and provide — and in many ways He did. They survived the daunting voyage, there was a native man that just happened to speak English who was willing to show them how to procure food, and there was an “empty” village just waiting for them. While it’s reported that half of them died during the first winter, it’s still a miraculous feat.

There are lots of stories that tell of the non-random, non-physical nature of the world — yet for some reason we tend to say it was “luck”, just random happenstance that could never happen again. Yet, unusual things happen all the time, there are “amazing”, seemingly impossible narratives that happen again and again. The very fact that life occurs in story-like patterns is a give-away in itself.

Lest you think I’m trying to spoil the fun and ruin the surprise, far from it. I’m only attempting to provide some perspective. Without their faith in a non-physical world, the Pilgrims never would’ve been so bold. Whereas if you believe yourself a simple creature struggling for survival amidst a harsh and brutal landscape, you’ll dig a hole and hide away your entire existence — it’s the logical thing to do. But, if you know beyond a doubt that the world wants you well, then you’ll step into the sun, soaking up its warm rays as you seek out the adventure of a lifetime.

So consider this: the world is not real OR random. It’s a game of pretend. You’re a character meant to play out your role. Whenever the intensity of immersion becomes too great, take a step back and realize that you’re not just a character, but also the player that watches, the one having the fun.

Selecting Sides

Good and evil, light and dark, positive and negative. In every instance, you choose whether you’re the hero or the villain. How? By the interpretation of the scene you’re experiencing.

If you seek-out the bad, you create it. If you seek-out the good, you create that too. So which do you see? You think your negativity only affects you, or do you even consider it? Either way, you contribute to the scene you’re experiencing based on your attitude.

You want a better world? Then see it. You’ll witness it transform before your eyes. Want the worst? Keep seeing the worst in everything that parades past.

You can be the one that lightens the mood or the one that tosses a grenade of pessimism into the air. Hero or villain — choose by the attitude you share with the world around you.

Disappearing Act

While it’s true that we can conjure things into existence, can we likewise make things disappear?

Imagine it this way: you walk into a familiar room but there’s a different smell than you’re used to. You ignore the odor and go about your business as usual. Not long after, you become “nose-blind” to the scent and don’t even notice it anymore. Or, imagine looking at a photo of yourself standing in front of a monument. You notice your shoelace is untied in the picture, but you don’t give it a second thought. You’re too busy remembering the feeling of grandeur of the day you visited that monument.

By not focusing on something, by not giving it your energy, it disappears.

Now imagine the previous scenes from a different perspective. You walk into a familiar room that contains a different smell. Although this time, you’re obsessed by it. “It must be coming from somewhere!! I swear I’ll find it!” You hunt and hunt and the smell only gets stronger as your persistence gives it life. What would have been a fleeting event, has now become your reason for being.

Or how about the photo with your shoelace untied? How could you have been so stupid. Probably the only chance you’ll ever have to visit that monument, and it’s ruined!! Ruined!!!! The shoelace incident will haunt you for the rest of your life. You’ll never take another photo without first checking for perfection.

The circumstances of life will forever parade past you, and if you don’t cling to them, they’ll gladly fade out of existence on their own. It takes no effort to make things disappear. Whereas it does take effort to make things persist.

When you allow the scene to move on, it’s gone. Pain for instance, is a symptom of resistance. It’s like you’ve lassoed the scene as it’s trying to leave and you’re fighting so hard that the rope is burning through your hand. Surrender, let go, stop resisting and the scene will simply move on. There’s no reason to fight, life doesn’t want to hurt you. Let go and things get better.

Magical Manifestations

Through your repetitious ways, you’ve been performing magic all along. But because of your negativity, you’ve been manifesting unpleasant things. Whenever you experience stimuli, you pessimistically interpret the worst — and those expectations are regularly fulfilled.

You feel a tingle in the body. “I must be coming down with something.” Wish granted. A phone rings. “It must be bad news.” Wish granted. You want a sweet treat. “This is unhealthy and will harm my body.” Wish granted. You want a better life. “I don’t deserve it.” Wish granted. You want a new car. “That’s impossible, I can’t afford it.” Wish granted.

Your power is impressive. But a simple question must be asked. Why would you direct such power toward the fulfillment of things you don’t prefer? Obviously you wouldn’t do it on purpose. But your power is so great, that you even confounded yourself. The first sentiment you felt when you entered this world was: “This feels weird, this must be pain, I don’t like this.” Wish granted. And life proceeded thusly.

You made a mistake. This world is actually a benevolent experience. It’s a fulfillment generator, a wish-granting world. But be careful what you wish for: if you seek the worst, you’ll receive the worst. And there’s a rule of absolute-value as well: negating doesn’t work. For example: “I wish for no more pain” translates to “I wish for more pain”.

Whatever subject-matter you breathe life into, manifests before your eyes. Think it, see it. If you don’t want something, keep it out of your head, replace the space with something you DO want. For example: while outside today, my mind interpreted the sensation on my body as “bitter cold”. I heard my mind repeating “I’m so cold”. I stopped my mind’s chatter and replaced it with “I’m warm and cozy”. The breezy sensation I felt didn’t need to be interpreted as “cold”, it was just a sensation. I felt a lot better after that.

Don’t let the repetition of the mind tell you something you don’t prefer. Stop it, replace it. In this way, re-program your experience here on Earth.