Lighthearted Path

Being a modern monk. Essentially, you’re traversing a path to the Almighty Creator. Why? The consequences of not doing so are unbearable. In other words, you’re kinda pushed onto the path and kept there by thorns on either side. But whatever, you’re on the path and the only viable option is to remain centered and keep moving forward.

Upon this path, obstacles sit in your way. Things like anger, impatience, pessimism, hopelessness, grievance, self-consciousness – essentially a turbulent mind filled with negativity. Like in any video-game, these never-ending obstacles must be avoided or else your character takes damage. To reiterate: Do not engage with negativity – it’s subtractive, it’ll lessen you. Negativity will dim your light.

Because basically, your role is to shine your light into a dark world. As you walk the path, you glow. Your radiance illuminates the path. This allows others to see the path and they’re drawn to it. You’re a beacon signaling the existence of a pathway to the Almighty Creator.

But keep in mind: you’re not shining because something’s broken or lacking. You’re not fixing anything – you’re simply following in the tradition and pageantry of illumination. Some people are bakers and they provide bread – loaves don’t just appear in the pantry. In a similar way, you provide light, you’re a lamp – you simply light the way.

Steering the Cart

I’m concurrently reading my goto books: “The Bhagavad Gita” and “The Dhammapada”. They quite clearly point-out my problem: I’m lacking mental discipline – I’m letting my mind wander wherever it wants – and THAT is the direct source of my dissatisfaction.

Here’s the thing, I KNOW this. I’ve read these books already, many times, using several different translations each. Yet here I am, doing EXACTLY what I shouldn’t be doing. To be fair, the books readily admit that taming the unruly mind IS a difficult task.

I believe I went wrong by assuming I was “done”. I cleaned out my mental attic and felt I could sit back and relax. I could not. As Barty Crouch Junior always said: “Constant vigilance!” Whenever I let my guard down, my tempestuous mind has always shown its readiness to pounce.

So back on the wagon I go. Meditating twice daily. Reading spiritual truths. Turning my mind towards the infinite all-pervading source of all. Moderation in diet and activity. It’s not something you graduate from, it’s a way of life. Yet it’s so easy to forget and get lost into an illusion.

The Enemy

The enemy is an unruly mind that seeks excitement at any cost. Basically, a bored child that doesn’t care who gets hurt – even itself.

I’ve witnessed my mood sink upon the consideration of an unpleasant thought. Whereas I’ve watched my mood lighten while focusing on an enjoyable topic. It’s plain to see: focus influences mood. Therefore, keep focus turned toward the delightful.

If the unruly mind is willing to abruptly grab the wheel and derail your journey, then you must put all your effort into keeping the wheel aligned and pointed in the right direction.

The right direction:
Love: I appreciate and adore many things in this world. I feel loved and supported by this world.
Lightheartedness: I laugh and have fun, delighting in my experiences.
Creativity: I create things that bring joy to myself and others.
Triumph: I am confident and competent, I’ve already won and need nothing to feel complete.

The enemy is relentless. Unchecked, you WILL lose. You will feel unloved, you will feel dour and pessimistic, you will feel discouraged and powerless, you will feel like a hopeless loser. This is the promise of an undisciplined mind.

This enemy is your constant companion. This enemy does not rest. This enemy springs into action during the best of times, during the worst of times, during the most ordinary of times – it’s always there to take you down into a hellish pit of despair.

With such an overwhelming opponent, how can you resist? By being just as fervent in your effort to overcome – you must apply tenacious dedication to lifting yourself up beyond this turbulent influence.

Be aware that this enemy is literally willing to choke you to death for its own amusement. BUT, don’t perceive this as malicious – it’s more like owning a chainsaw. It’s a powerful tool that’s able to tear through limbs both wood and flesh. You must therefore be an attentive operator that respects the power you wield, applying it responsibly in the direction you want to affect.

Like a chainsaw, this tool allows you to alter your surroundings. But as the operator of this tool, YOU are your own worst enemy. As horror-movies state: “the call is coming from inside the house!” – but YOU are the one making the call and YOU are the one receiving it. If you’re an irresponsible tool owner, you’ll feel pain. As I always say in the workshop: any tool used improperly becomes a weapon.

In summation: the mind and its constantly whirring thoughts are a chainsaw. They WILL literally rip you apart if you don’t pay attention and properly direct them.

Keeping Focus

Current mantra: love, lightheartedness, creativity, and triumph.

Love: appreciation, adoration, enjoyment, patience.
Lightheartedness: laughter, delight, frivolity, joy.
Creativity: creating, crafting, doing, beautifying.
Triumph: satisfaction, success, contentment, confidence.

These concepts are all I’m allowing myself to focus on. A little time has passed since I began and it’s going well. They’re what I really want out of life I suppose.

I want to love, laugh, make stuff, and feel like a winner. What else is there? I spent so long attempting to avoid the things I didn’t like instead of focusing on the things I did like.

During the times I’m not actually experiencing these concepts, I must try to turn my focus to them. “If surrounded by darkness, should you not seek the light?”

Wandering Want

A wandering mind leads to dissatisfaction. This unpleasant state can be overcome by applying a disciplined approach to every experience. DO NOT LET THE MIND WANDER! It will crash and produce pain.

You don’t have the luxury of letting your guard down. You must take the wheel and steer the ENTIRE time. Eating, thinking, working, talking, reading, watching – ALL things must be done in a state of awareness.

Focus defines existence. A wandering mind focuses on whatever – eventually arriving at something unpleasant. Through discipline, the mind should be directed to a decent destination.

As the Buddha said:
Suffering exists. It is the result of wanting. Suffering ends when wanting ends. End wanting by remaining aware and properly focused.

Primary Focus

If “focus” is the ultimate influencer of experience, then what am I allowed to focus on (while ignoring everything else)?

For you Rich, you may focus on the following (but only in fun and never frustration):

(in no particular order)
Tools, woodworking, technology, engineering, computer programming, and math.
Good relations with companions.
Funny aspects of things.
Triumphant stories and comical depictions.
Lightheartedness and the sensation of joy.
(joy: warmth, weightlessness, oneness – everything is as it should be, perfect, complete.)

Watch your thoughts – if something comes into focus that isn’t on the approved list, switch it off and select something from the list. If you’re experiencing a situation that is difficult to disconnect from, attempt to focus beyond it. Ride it through calmly and quietly while trying to focus on something outside of it.

Dropping Packets

Because of their unpleasant themes, I’ve found “random thoughts” to be a problem. But, is their subject-matter the actual problem, or does the problem come from my conscious-mind’s tendency to focus on trash? Is my conscious-mind behaving like someone scanning the Internet, regularly enticed by click-bait headlines, readily reading the garbage contained within?

Or perhaps my conscious-mind is just too thorough, actively reading every detail, performing due diligence to ascertain which content is worthwhile? But in sorting through the muck & mire, maybe the poor thing is overwhelmed? Either way, my conscious-mind is not able to handle the drama and dissatisfaction that constantly comes from “random thoughts”.

I’ve been experimenting in meditation (as I often do) by having my conscious-mind “drop all packets”. This is a network-firewall reference in which anything attempting to connect doesn’t get rejected, the requests are simply sent into a “black hole” – nothing gets analyzed and no errors are returned, packets are just dropped into nothingness.

In other words: eyes closed, thoughts off. There’s no good or bad thoughts to evaluate: not a single one is processed. It’s a brute-force approach – if input is overburdening the system, dump it all. This gives my conscious-mind a break from sorting and reviewing all the nastiness coming in from “random thoughts”.

So now if I’m going through daily life and I notice an uptick in resource utilization e.g. apprehension, frustration, irritation – I set my conscious-mind to “drop all packets”. Obviously there’s a hack-in-progress, so incoming requests can’t be trusted. Things tend to normalize soon after.

Side note: I’ve been noticing some very specific, targeted attacks lately. For example, as I sat down in my meditation corner this afternoon, I noticed my several-year-old plant crawling with tiny spider-like things. I ended-up tossing it in a trash bag. And about a foot away, tiny ant-like things were crawling up the wall. Huh!? I did not end up meditating. Just a funny coincidence I suppose….

New Year Knew Me

Greetings dear diary, this is my first entry of the new year (2022). I had a decent Christmas season by the way: we’re living in a nice place, we decorated, we gave and received some quality presents, we ate some treats, and I’m back to my woodworking hobby – all good stuff.

I’m also back to doing three 15-minute meditation sessions per day (morning, afternoon, and night). I stopped during the holidays and noticed the difference. I’m really trying to rein in my mind this time. I’m sick of its antics and want to truly subdue it.

I fully recognize how my experience of existence is affected by my focus. If I allow my consciousness to focus on wandering thoughts, I’m overwhelmed with the sensation of drama and dissatisfaction. Whereas when my consciousness is restrained from following random thoughts, I experience sensations of tranquility and contentment.

The cause-and-effect is that simple. In meditation, I’ve been witnessing this direct correlation over and over. When I allow my mind to wander, I end up agitated – every time. And when I stop my mind from wandering and following all of its silly stories, I’m serene and satisfied.

So dear diary, that’s where I’m at right now. I’m hammering away at this point until my mind gets the message. Even if I had the best external experience possible, I couldn’t enjoy it with a critical and chaotic mind running rampant. My path is clear: mental discipline or bust.

Guardian of Tranquility

I am a Guardian of Tranquility. I guard my awareness from a wandering mind. External circumstances don’t matter, it could be raining fire, but at all times I’m protecting the conscious mind from an onslaught of thought. With rampant thoughts, my mind is overcome by drama and dissatisfaction. Without rampant thoughts, my mind experiences tranquility and contentment.

There’s no place to hide. Because the mind is always present, I’m already found. Thoughts will continue to lure and tempt no matter my position, I can’t run. Even if I locked myself in a closet, my attention-seeking mind would fabricate some sort of boogeyman. My only option is standing guard against chaotic thoughts that seek to invade and obtain my awareness.

I don’t try to alter my external surroundings to facilitate calm. It can’t be done. An unfettered mind will twist ANY situation into a turbulent storm of down-pouring unpleasantness. The only refuge is an inner-state of cultivated serenity. Such a condition requires dedicated practice and unwavering vigilance. Through regular meditation, I monitor my mind and steer a steady course.

In other words, I’m not attempting to subdue the world, the goal is to subdue my mind and soften my reactions. I’m not shutting out the world, I’m shutting out my thoughts – keeping my consciousness clear of poisonous pondering – guarding against thoughts that tarnish whatever they touch. And the reason I commit to this endeavor, is to improve my experience of existence.

External Enemies

No matter the form they took, be it bullies or bills – external enemies weren’t my actual adversary. My true enemy is the one residing within: the tormenting thoughts that never cease. Extreme stress didn’t come from actual events, it came from the surrounding thoughts. It’s obvious now: no matter the situation, seemingly good or bad, my thoughts found a way to inflict pain and dissatisfaction. Got a gift? “What’s wrong with it!?” Got a deadline? “You’ll never finish in time!!”

Those stupid, pestering thoughts. Vermin of the mind, running around spreading disease as they consume anything of value. What stops vermin is filling gaps, setting traps, and deploying predators. Don’t give “thoughts” space to roam free. Set the bait and watch as they emerge to nibble – notice the paths they take and the ways they react. Be the predator that pounces – in quiet meditation consume each thought as prey, one after another, powerless to your prowess.

I feel no sorrow for these “thoughts” that tricked me into believing I was surrounded by enemies on all sides. They hid in the shadows of the mind, accusing everything of malevolence, making me believe “thoughts” were my only refuge in a world of external evil. “Come, lose yourself in thought, we’re the only experience you need. Reject all that you see, trust in us as your source of nourishment.” What a fool I was, believing every word.

Thoughts are a fairytale, they reveal no truth – how could they? Thoughts reside in the mind, like a reclusive shut-in that complains of a world he only assumes exists. Assertive repetition makes him sound convincing, but his claims are pure fantasy. The formula is simple: is it a thought? Then it’s not true. Is it a thought? Then it’s a work of fiction. Is it a thought? Then it’s useless drivel – feel free to ignore. It’s a mistake to believe that thoughts represent truth.