Negativity Nightmare

A part of the Overcoming Negativity series.

The trouble with overcoming negativity, is that it looks like there’s no way out. When you’re negative and sporting a bad attitude, any advice will seem stupid. And anyone doing well in life will seem like a moron deluding himself into being superficially happy, whereas you live in the “real world” and know the gritty truth about life. So it’ll usually take quite a shock to wake you from the nightmare you’re in.

Why am I bothering with this somewhat mild message then? Certainly it’s not enough to shake you awake. But here’s the thing, maybe you really are as smart as you say you are. Maybe you can get the message before life turns up the intensity. Because at some point, life will come for you — but this gentle notification is here if you want to avoid all that fuss.

It’s like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol — he had a simple “dream” one night, then his whole world turned around. Here is your dream. Take heed and you’re off the hook, you’ll have an easy time living a life that far exceeds your pessimistic imaginings. Ignore it, and you step in line at the roller-coaster, ready to have your snot shaken loose as your heart-rate races you to the finish.

Right now, life is getting ready to show you that nightmare you’ve been imagining your entire life. You asked for it, you expected it to come — so you’ll receive it. But if you give up your negative ways, the good life awaits — right here and right now. It’s always been there, you just couldn’t appreciate it. So what’s it going to be?

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Expected Expectations

“When an expectation doesn’t come true, doesn’t that prove that my expectations don’t actually control anything?” No, it proves that you didn’t really expect to get what you wanted. You need to double-down and expect an even better outcome from that point forward. Yes that sounds like some funky logic, but it turns out that logic is for losers — people that excel at this game don’t waste their time with logic.

But here’s the thing, the deeper you get into the practice of positive expectations, the less-specific things you expect. Who cares really? Losers care about minutia whereas winners have a great day no matter what. All you ever need to expect is an entertaining time here on Earth. The specifics aren’t important. What’s the difference whether it’s sunny or raining, whether you’re alone or with others, whether you’re laughing or crying — the enjoyment of the experience is the important part.

The bottom line is this folks: do you want to sit around rotting away, decaying everyday until you finally give-up and die? Of course not, that’s stupid. You play a game to have fun. And right now you’re in one of the best games ever created: Earth. And like any game, the only point is to engage and enjoy. And the way to enjoy ANY game is to approach it with a positive attitude and an expectation of having a great time.

If you’re failing at life, it’s because you didn’t follow this simple step. And that’s not even a problem — anytime you want, you can start turning things around. Life isn’t a particularly hard game unless you expect it to be. And if I sound harsh, it’s because you’ve ignored every sweetly-worded explanation that’s come your way thus far, you regularly dismiss that stuff as nonsense. Now you’re stuck with me, speaking on your terms, at your level. Now smarten up and have a great time!

Lucky Bunk

If some people are luckier than others, then the concept of luck is nonsense. It means there’s some other factor at work rather than random chance. My friend is extremely “lucky” for example. Whether she’s rolling real or virtual dice, she rolls whatever she needs to win. Quite simply, she expects to win and does. It’s not a fun process to play against her in a game of chance. And yes, she’s found several four-leaf clovers over the years.

Whereas she expects to win, and frequently does, I expect to lose and get what I expect too. It seems as though expectation is the determining factor behind outcomes. This means that luck/chance/randomness isn’t an actual functioning mechanism. Chance is a fictional concept we adopt to make games seem more exciting. “Oh boy, maybe I’ll win!! But maybe I’ll lose!!! Hehe! So thrilling!!!” The most exciting entertainment we consume always has some sort of surprise element.

So for the purpose of our own entertainment we conveniently forget that outcomes align with our expectations, we pretend that chance is real. But realize: we have deep-seated long-term expectations as well as shallow short-term ones. This means: if you’re a die-hard pessimist for example, endeavors will typically fail despite any current wish for something to work-out in your favor. Outcomes are based on a culmination of expectation rather than a quick “I hope I win this time!”.

And the conclusion is this: you are getting exactly what you expect from life. There is no luck, good or bad. If you’re a loser, it’s because you expect to be a loser. How can you alter this trend? Change your expectation. Expect the best, get the best. The people that seem luckier are simply expecting a better life and they’re receiving it. And whenever a great expectation isn’t met, just plow-ahead expecting an even greater outcome.

Rate of Repetition

There’s a line between routine and erosion — and that line is pain. For example, a gentle caress becomes an abrasion if carried out for too long in the same spot — or a massage may turn into a bruise if repetitively performed on one particular area. This pain, is life telling you what to do. You are required to mix things up. For example, if you attempt to eat the exact same food all the time, you’ll get sick of it to the point of never wanting it again — there’s a certain rate of consumption you must practice or else you’ll be punished.

This demarcation of pain is an example of life communicating with you. Nothing needs to be figured out, the answer is obvious: stop doing what you’re doing and try something else. The question then becomes: how much must my activity vary in order to qualify as something different enough to not cause pain? You’ll have to determine that through experimentation — and again, life will let you know what works through the application of pain.

Mind you, life simply nudges you at first. It’s only after you keep ignoring the signal that life turns up the intensity. The better you listen, the less brutal the process becomes. So you must learn to catch yourself before doing the same thing over and over to the point of immense pain. The pain serves as an alarm that says “Stop!! Wrong way!!!”. From there, you need to find another route. The destination might very well be the same, but try some other way to get there.

In summation: When we come into this world, we’re just too ignorant to know where to go and what to do. There’s just no way you can figure things out on your own. You need guidance. And if you listen, you can hear life leading you along the entire time. And if you don’t listen, you’ll soon feel the instructions in the form of pain. A common situation where life sends this message is when a routine becomes too repetitive — you’ll need to engage in some variety to keep things running smoothly.

Overlooking Logic

A part of the Overcoming Negativity series.

Don’t listen to logic, listen to life. For the longest time, that sentiment made no sense to me.

You enter into life and your thinking-mind (the part that chatters all day long) tries to brute-force its way through. Unfortunately, this babbling big-mouth doesn’t know anything, and subsequently fails at every step. Your thinking-mind then determines that “life sucks” and it’s too hard — then it proceeds to bad-mouth life from here on out. Sound familiar?

“Logic” is a trick that your thinking-mind uses to convince itself that it’s right about everything. Logic relies on a foundation of facts yet your thinking-mind doesn’t bother with actual facts, it simply cobbles together a framework of plausible beliefs based on incomplete data and hearsay evidence. It will then bend and twist every situation to fit into its system of “logic”.

So basically, “logic” is a lie your thinking-mind uses to feel justified in its failure. But if “logic” is a sure route to loser-ville, what’s left? Well it turns out that life doesn’t need to be figured out. If you simply listen to life, it’ll tell you exactly what to do and where to go. If you can just get that blathering part of your mind to shut-up for once, you can receive all the instruction you’ll ever need.

Members of the Serious Thinkers Club don’t naturally integrate into life because our thinking-mind is so prominent. Therefore, we have to manually shut it down. But don’t worry, that yapping jabber-box is not who you really are, it’s actually preventing you from being who you really are. Nothing of value is lost in the process — you’re simply removing a thorn from your side.

If you’ve noticed, we all have a bunch of attributes that define our character — but an always-complaining scaredy-cat is not a legitimate attribute — it’s a side-effect that occurs when the thinking-mind is at the helm. It creates a selfish, self-centered creature that perceives nothing but the worst in its surroundings. Silence it, and a whole new wonderful world opens up before you.

Limits of Logic

One of my biggest mistakes was attempting to live a logical life. Basically: if I can’t prove it, it doesn’t exist. Which sounds stupid when I say it, but seemed to make sense at the time. As a kid growing up, you really can’t prove much at all, you’re basing so much of your information on what people are telling you — hearsay evidence at best, which kind of defeats the point.

From my perspective, if I couldn’t see a logical path then the endpoint was unattainable. Therefore, I could only attempt what was simple and obvious. Oh boy does that limit your options in life. In one sense it worked, I really did live the very limited life I imagined. But in another sense, it was so constrained and lackluster that it was kind of meaningless.

But the thing is, you’re not supposed to know how to achieve your goals and dreams — that’s what makes them special and exciting. Duh! If you can directly perceive the way in which to attain something, then you’re not thinking big enough. For example: based on the resources available to me at the time, living in a single-wide mobile-home at a trailer-park seemed the most logical path — and I took it. Whereas when I stopped being a slave to logic, I traveled across the country to move into a two-story top-floor condo with not one, but two balconies. How did that happen? I HAVE NO IDEA. It doesn’t make sense, at least logically.

For several decades mind you, I thought logic was the ideal way in which to live a sensible life. I was wrong. It is in fact the WORST way to live. If you’re unhappy with your life right now, I’m going to guess that you too have attempted to live with a logical outlook. My advice: quit now and never look back. If you pay attention, this is what successful people are always saying: follow your dreams, just do it, don’t take no for an answer, make your own luck, etc, etc. Logic and success are on opposite sides of the coin.

Life is very good at fulfilling expectations. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Whereas if you expect a zany outcome in which your wildest dreams come true, you can get that too. There are people today that are paid millions of dollars to record themselves playing video games, to mumble into a microphone alongside a beat, to simply talk about their lives on camera, to draw cartoons, to sell ugly Christmas sweaters — the list goes on and on. But the common denominator is this: logic is for losers.

Logic, no and never.
#JustSayNoToLogic

New Year’s Wish

In games, sometimes there’s a tipping-point in which you become the master. After struggling to get even a toe-hold, you get to a position where your dominance is inevitable. You don’t always want to reach that tipping-point though. If you’re not prepared to handle it, it will be very unfulfilling and you’ll be left with nothing but emptiness. Boredom will come — and from that, you can’t hide.

And it’s true — at one point, life presented me with a scenario I preferred, but I couldn’t handle it. Without a doubt, my negativity won. From there, I went into a multi-year exile. During those years, I trained — not my body as I had done in my youth, but my mind. I sat in isolation attempting to figure life out — trying to understand what I was doing wrong. The culmination of everything I gathered is within this blog.

In the upcoming year, I hope I’m ready to reach that tipping-point — to become a player that focuses on living-out his role the best he can. I hope that I’ve shed my negativity and developed an ability to appreciate the simple fear-free life. I’m done with using fear as a crutch to stave-off existential boredom. Anxiety, distress, worry, despair, anxiousness, hopelessness, frustration — these are words I knew well, but now wish to know only from a distance. I’m not afraid of them, I’m simply ready to mature beyond them.

I was meditating yesterday, methodically shutting down every thought that came into my mind — and a realization occurred: I shutdown this chatter in order to create an inlet for life to enter. These constant thoughts simply don’t allow life to happen, they choke it in every instance — like a loudmouth shouting over everyone else — or weeds preventing desirable crops from growing. So in this new year, I wish to listen — to allow life in.