Doorway Sales

I tried for DECADES to make that natural-model-of-the-universe stuff fly. I was a dedicated advocate and active proselytizer. But in the end, I just couldn’t do it. Eventually, beaten and broken, I had to say fuck-it and move on. Yet being the natural-born zealot I am, I can’t not advocate for something. So nowadays I promote the enjoyment of existence — I’m a salesman for the good-life. My father was a salesman by the way, he sold doors.

But me, I sell virtual doors, gateways to the wondrous world you never knew existed. A magical realm fueled by dreams and wishes. Rich Reality Services — that’s the name of my business (“reality”, not “realty” like you’d expect. Ha! Get it!?). It’s a service for those that want to trade-in their distressing perspective for something better. And boy do I have something better for you! You’re gonna think I’m offering some pie-in-the-sky nonsensical notion — but no, this is the real deal.

Imagine the life you’re living now, but without fear and with plenty of fulfillment. No more worry, just you living life as you were meant to, enjoying yourself the entire time. What a concept! Regularly smiling, appreciating your surroundings, maintaining a sense of satisfaction, having fun — these things could be yours. And that reality exists right now if you’re willing to accept it. I’m simply here if you need a little nudge in the right direction.

And like many instructors, I’m merely a couple pages ahead in the lesson-book — I’m finding my way on the path same as you. But think of me as the scout that intrepidly treks ahead. I’m first to fall off the cliff, yet first to see the rising sun. Either way, you get a heads-up about what’s coming, with time to react based on the insight provided. My character just happens to be good at not falling off cliffs, which is why I’ve taken the point position.

So if that sounds about right to you, stick around and read along — or hit me up with any questions or comments. My name’s Rich if you didn’t catch it earlier, and I’m at your service.

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Lighten Up

A part of the Overcoming Negativity series.

Lest you think this is a new or unique problem, far from it. It’s been a central theme of existence since the beginning. The message of Jesus is basically this: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” i.e. “Give-up your bad-attitude because paradise is right here and now, enjoy it!” If you read the book of Matthew, you’ll see a guy that’s increasingly frustrated by the negativity and stubbornness surrounding him. So much so, that he eventually rage-quits the game in the form of suicide-by-cop.

The take-away from the plight of Jesus should be this: Don’t be a passionate pessimist like those that surrounded him — the world God created isn’t a shit-hole that’s made to frighten inhabitants. It’s a wonderland meant to be enjoyed. And you’re being a total dick by constantly criticizing it and not even trying to have fun. Those people took life way too seriously, and Jesus essentially told them to lighten up — now, we can do what they refused to do, we can choose to lighten up.

Jesus simply walked up to the sick and said: “Hey, cut it out. Stop already, you’re going to be okay. Existence is a great experience that you should be celebrating, not lamenting.” And you know what? Those people that could only imagine their bodies as sources of pain-and-suffering wised-up and went along their merry way. But so few listened, they were so sure of themselves and their pessimistic perspective: “Life sucks, and then you die!”

It’s such a simple message too: lighten up. Stop interpreting everything in such a dark and dire way. What divine being would create a nightmare-world designed to torture inhabitants? Spoiler Alert: None, because that’d be dumb. Yet for whatever reason, inhabitants insist on imagining the worst. And being that God is giving, those inhabitants always find what they seek. But what a mockery we make of our wondrous world if that’s what we ask for. So lighten up for Christ’s sake!

Negativity Nightmare

A part of the Overcoming Negativity series.

The trouble with overcoming negativity, is that it looks like there’s no way out. When you’re negative and sporting a bad attitude, any advice will seem stupid. And anyone doing well in life will seem like a moron deluding himself into being superficially happy, whereas you live in the “real world” and know the gritty truth about life. So it’ll usually take quite a shock to wake you from the nightmare you’re in.

Why am I bothering with this somewhat mild message then? Certainly it’s not enough to shake you awake. But here’s the thing, maybe you really are as smart as you say you are. Maybe you can get the message before life turns up the intensity. Because at some point, life will come for you — but this gentle notification is here if you want to avoid all that fuss.

It’s like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol — he had a simple “dream” one night, then his whole world turned around. Here is your dream. Take heed and you’re off the hook, you’ll have an easy time living a life that far exceeds your pessimistic imaginings. Ignore it, and you step in line at the roller-coaster, ready to have your snot shaken loose as your heart-rate races you to the finish.

Right now, life is getting ready to show you that nightmare you’ve been imagining your entire life. You asked for it, you expected it to come — so you’ll receive it. But if you give up your negative ways, the good life awaits — right here and right now. It’s always been there, you just couldn’t appreciate it. So what’s it going to be?

Expected Expectations

“When an expectation doesn’t come true, doesn’t that prove that my expectations don’t actually control anything?” No, it proves that you didn’t really expect to get what you wanted. You need to double-down and expect an even better outcome from that point forward. Yes that sounds like some funky logic, but it turns out that logic is for losers — people that excel at this game don’t waste their time with logic.

But here’s the thing, the deeper you get into the practice of positive expectations, the less-specific things you expect. Who cares really? Losers care about minutia whereas winners have a great day no matter what. All you ever need to expect is an entertaining time here on Earth. The specifics aren’t important. What’s the difference whether it’s sunny or raining, whether you’re alone or with others, whether you’re laughing or crying — the enjoyment of the experience is the important part.

The bottom line is this folks: do you want to sit around rotting away, decaying everyday until you finally give-up and die? Of course not, that’s stupid. You play a game to have fun. And right now you’re in one of the best games ever created: Earth. And like any game, the only point is to engage and enjoy. And the way to enjoy ANY game is to approach it with a positive attitude and an expectation of having a great time.

If you’re failing at life, it’s because you didn’t follow this simple step. And that’s not even a problem — anytime you want, you can start turning things around. Life isn’t a particularly hard game unless you expect it to be. And if I sound harsh, it’s because you’ve ignored every sweetly-worded explanation that’s come your way thus far, you regularly dismiss that stuff as nonsense. Now you’re stuck with me, speaking on your terms, at your level. Now smarten up and have a great time!

Overlooking Logic

A part of the Overcoming Negativity series.

Don’t listen to logic, listen to life. For the longest time, that sentiment made no sense to me.

You enter into life and your thinking-mind (the part that chatters all day long) tries to brute-force its way through. Unfortunately, this babbling big-mouth doesn’t know anything, and subsequently fails at every step. Your thinking-mind then determines that “life sucks” and it’s too hard — then it proceeds to bad-mouth life from here on out. Sound familiar?

“Logic” is a trick that your thinking-mind uses to convince itself that it’s right about everything. Logic relies on a foundation of facts yet your thinking-mind doesn’t bother with actual facts, it simply cobbles together a framework of plausible beliefs based on incomplete data and hearsay evidence. It will then bend and twist every situation to fit into its system of “logic”.

So basically, “logic” is a lie your thinking-mind uses to feel justified in its failure. But if “logic” is a sure route to loser-ville, what’s left? Well it turns out that life doesn’t need to be figured out. If you simply listen to life, it’ll tell you exactly what to do and where to go. If you can just get that blathering part of your mind to shut-up for once, you can receive all the instruction you’ll ever need.

Members of the Serious Thinkers Club don’t naturally integrate into life because our thinking-mind is so prominent. Therefore, we have to manually shut it down. But don’t worry, that yapping jabber-box is not who you really are, it’s actually preventing you from being who you really are. Nothing of value is lost in the process — you’re simply removing a thorn from your side.

If you’ve noticed, we all have a bunch of attributes that define our character — but an always-complaining scaredy-cat is not a legitimate attribute — it’s a side-effect that occurs when the thinking-mind is at the helm. It creates a selfish, self-centered creature that perceives nothing but the worst in its surroundings. Silence it, and a whole new wonderful world opens up before you.

Limits of Logic

One of my biggest mistakes was attempting to live a logical life. Basically: if I can’t prove it, it doesn’t exist. Which sounds stupid when I say it, but seemed to make sense at the time. As a kid growing up, you really can’t prove much at all, you’re basing so much of your information on what people are telling you — hearsay evidence at best, which kind of defeats the point.

From my perspective, if I couldn’t see a logical path then the endpoint was unattainable. Therefore, I could only attempt what was simple and obvious. Oh boy does that limit your options in life. In one sense it worked, I really did live the very limited life I imagined. But in another sense, it was so constrained and lackluster that it was kind of meaningless.

But the thing is, you’re not supposed to know how to achieve your goals and dreams — that’s what makes them special and exciting. Duh! If you can directly perceive the way in which to attain something, then you’re not thinking big enough. For example: based on the resources available to me at the time, living in a single-wide mobile-home at a trailer-park seemed the most logical path — and I took it. Whereas when I stopped being a slave to logic, I traveled across the country to move into a two-story top-floor condo with not one, but two balconies. How did that happen? I HAVE NO IDEA. It doesn’t make sense, at least logically.

For several decades mind you, I thought logic was the ideal way in which to live a sensible life. I was wrong. It is in fact the WORST way to live. If you’re unhappy with your life right now, I’m going to guess that you too have attempted to live with a logical outlook. My advice: quit now and never look back. If you pay attention, this is what successful people are always saying: follow your dreams, just do it, don’t take no for an answer, make your own luck, etc, etc. Logic and success are on opposite sides of the coin.

Life is very good at fulfilling expectations. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Whereas if you expect a zany outcome in which your wildest dreams come true, you can get that too. There are people today that are paid millions of dollars to record themselves playing video games, to mumble into a microphone alongside a beat, to simply talk about their lives on camera, to draw cartoons, to sell ugly Christmas sweaters — the list goes on and on. But the common denominator is this: logic is for losers.

Logic, no and never.
#JustSayNoToLogic

Bullied Life

A part of the Overcoming Negativity series.

As a serious thinker, your toughest challenge deals with your ability to appreciate the life you live. Your negativity will cause the world to appear as if it’s a sadistic nightmare-realm hellbent on your destruction. Even though objectively, the life you’ve lived thus far has been relatively easy in terms of the effort exerted to maintain your physical existence.

You were right about it being “me versus the world” — but unfortunately, you’re the bully that’s been repeatedly attacking life. When you experienced existence for the first time, you freaked out and mistook the initial feelings of excitement for pain and reacted in the worst way possible. You overreacted and now you need to apologize and atone for your unwarranted attack on life.

You’ve no doubt disparaged life a hundred times over throughout the course of your existence. Existence is a gift that you straight-up power-slammed into the ground. But here’s the thing: Life loves you. Despite your bad attitude, you’re still here right? And when you finally calm down and attempt to overcome your toughest challenge, life is here for you once again.

When you start looking for good in the world, you’ll find it — it’s everywhere. It’s always been there, your pessimism just didn’t allow you to perceive it. And the way you make amends with life is easy: start by enjoying the gift you were given. Don’t criticize it, don’t avoid it, don’t look for the worst in it — just find something to appreciate in every moment as the scenes of life flicker by.