Here’s my question: is it good to get “meta”? In other words, should one bother analyzing existence itself? Or, should one completely concentrate on the character they’re playing?
First off, I’ve been playing this role for what seems like a very long time and I don’t know the answer. I spent a lot of time analyzing my character’s state and monitoring possible threats to his wellbeing. That wasn’t a good strategy – I didn’t receive benefit from the effort. It’s more of a “meta” approach to life. I watched the character more than I was the character.
And more often than not, I didn’t even watch the character, I watched television instead. He lived in a weird setting that made me uncomfortable – I’d rather watch sitcoms. So one reason I delved into the meta was as an attempt to fix the physical. Or at the very least improve my relationship with the physical.
But as is my pattern, maybe I went too far into it. I wanted all spirit and no physical. Maybe now is the time to wind-it-back and introduce more physical experience into the mix?
Was it necessary to step out beyond the character completely in order to put him back together again? If that’s true, then meta matters as a way to rebalance. I was consumed by my character, I watched-over him 24/7 – scared something would happen to him, so I kept guard.
He didn’t need my “protection” – what did I know about living in a physical world anyway, I’m just consciousness. Instead, I was the stereotypical nagging mother type. “Eat your vegetables! Don’t do that, it’s too dangerous! Don’t show-off, you’re embarrassing yourself!” Maybe he truly wanted to live, but I wouldn’t let him.
I don’t blame myself though, I was freaked-out by the experience. I didn’t know what this was. I don’t even know what I am. But maybe trying to figure it out is a wild-goose chase that only results in frustration? Maybe this is the balance the Buddha was talking about. Don’t go all-in in either direction. Blend the spiritual and physical until a desirable balance is achieved.