Dear diary, I think I might be at the nadir of a happiness U-curve. Gasp! In other words, I’m at the age in which dissatisfaction peaks. So no matter my external condition, I can’t feel appreciation or contentment. Some refer to this time as a “midlife crisis”. And although I might deny it and attempt to apply all the mental discipline I can muster, there seems to be no stopping the onslaught of disgruntlement. All I can do at this point is hold-on and wait until the happiness U-curve starts heading up.
I’m not pleased by my powerlessness of course. But I can perceive no root cause for my general discontentment except the human condition itself – and I can’t fix that. A sports-car won’t fix it, a new relationship won’t fix it, a change in lifestyle won’t fix it, it’s all been done and ultimately fails to satisfy. But time passes and the situation eventually fixes itself by following the curve.
So dear diary, all the complaining I’ve been doing lately is invalid. It’s just the murmurings of a midlife crisis. I suppose that makes me feel better in some sense. I guess I’m going to be a Grumpy Gus for a bit. But eventually I’ll emerge like a butterfly, beautiful, a delight for all to behold. Well, I’ll see you on the other side.
I suppose what this diagnosis offers, is hope. Existence won’t be a continuous slide into an ever-increasing state of dissatisfaction. A time will come when I’ll know tranquility and contentment. But until then, I’ll have to muddle through, expecting unpleasantness. I guess this is one of those instances where you just gotta accept some negativity as normal.