Who Knows

I’m not discounting the possibility that I might be a moron, but if that’s not the case then I believe this world willfully obfuscates its true nature. I’ve spent years attempting to ascertain the underlying principles of my existence – I’ve found nothing. Like a mirage in the desert, seemingly solid answers simply dissolve whenever approached. In other words, close examination of this world will not lead to an explanation.

And that makes sense of course, because you can’t explain how a movie was made by merely watching a movie. Who wrote it? Who coordinated the production? How was it recorded? How were the special-effects done? Who composed the music? The same is true of video-games: playing provides little insight into the underlying programming code and overall construction of the product. Therefore, I can surmise that this world is NOT self-contained – something exists beyond its walls.

But whether it’s movies, video-games, or even dreams, it doesn’t seem prudent to spend one’s time attempting to see-through the illusion. Why not sit back and enjoy the show? Right? But to be quite frank, I haven’t been able to appreciate my time here. It seems like a poor implementation, basically a low-quality movie. And what does one do when presented with a flick that lacks entertainment value? Well, you lose your ability to focus on the story and you sit there wondering who made this crap.

You also wonder if there’s something you can do to improve things. Maybe change seats and get a different perspective? Pay closer attention? Perhaps focus on an interesting aspect that you previously ignored? Maybe stop criticizing, and attempt to appreciate the scenes? But that just seems like a lot of homework. Whereas a well-made movie allows you to simply sit there captivated. Why should the burden of enjoyment be put on the audience? And, is such effort even effective?

In fact, I’ve spent lots of time and effort readjusting and trying to get a better handle on the situation. Meditation? Yep. Reading philosophical, religious, self-help, and spiritual books? Yep. Moving to a new location? Yep. Spending time with loved ones? Yep. Finding a hobby? Yep. Cutting out negativity as best I could? Yep. I’d say there’s some improvement, but it’s also FAR from a good movie.

So now what? Well, I know without a doubt that this world is a concoction, a fabricated fiction that purposefully confounds my consciousness. Why? Who cares about “why” if it’s fun. Unfortunately, I often find myself less than amused by the antics of this world. Is this a challenge to overcome? A puzzle set forth by some other incarnation of my self? Am I a beta-tester of some weakly implemented simulation? Is my origin the mystery I must solve to unlock the next level? I don’t know.