Every phone ringing, every incoming text, every email, every letter, every shout, every bodily sensation, every everything — is gloom & doom knocking, and it wants to come in. “Hey Rich! Something new for you!” OMG! Now what!? What dire fate have you come to curse me with!! Why must you persist with this incessant barrage of unpleasantness!! Just leave me alone already!!
I suppose you could say that I have a tendency to overreact to stimuli. Life provides an “interaction opportunity” and I automatically assume the worst. Like food in a snare, I’d be a fool to take it lest I succumb to the trap. You won’t get ME!! I’m too smart, you see. My cunning has kept me alive this long, I never let my guard down!
That’s a joke of course. I’m actually quite incompetent when it comes to living as a human being. In the past I believed I needed to protect myself from life’s onslaught, but nowadays I can see what an absurd proposition that is. BUT I still default to distrust! So, I’m at the point in my “spiritual journey” where I’m attempting to get rid of that wariness.
Life is no longer a hell-scape hell-bent on inflicting pain upon me. Life is a fulfillment factory in which dreams become reality. Unfortunately, if you dream of negativity, that too becomes reality. And so it’s up to me to focus on pleasant thoughts and ideas in order to experience a better reality. I get it, it just takes practice.