Michael woke up suddenly. He didn’t know why. But not long after, he heard a noise. It seemed to be coming from inside his house. Michael had a Benelli tactical pump-action shotgun for home-defense, a concealed-carry permit to accompany his Glock 26 subcompact pistol, plus a small arsenal of various rifles and handguns for impressing his buddies at the gun range. He’d been waiting for this day, a good-guy with a gun was about to go to war.
Michael grabbed the Benelli obviously, and readied it for action, racking the slide underneath his pillow to keep it quiet. He paused a second and grabbed his Glock subcompact for backup. Because of the emergency nature of the situation, Michael dispensed with any other gear. It was go-time. To keep the element of surprise, he kept things dark and moved low and slow through his house towards the living room. “This f*cker’s dead,” he kept repeating to himself.
As he got closer, he was relieved to see light coming from the living room, that meant he’d have the advantage as he was coming from a dark hallway. He inched his way closer. Before he could even think about what he saw, it was over. Michael dropped to his knees as the shotgun fell out of his limp hands. Red was everywhere. None more so than on the man in the living room. But that man wasn’t done quite yet — from his bag he pulled out one more thing.
“An XBox One X!!!”, yelled Michael as he saw it coming out of Santa’s sack. “Ho ho ho!! Indeed it is!”, replied Saint Nick. “How did you know!!!”, Michael was ecstatic. He offered Santa some cookies and apologized for trying to blow his brains out. But that jolly old elf, with but a wink and a nod, simply shot up the chimney and got back in his sleigh. Michael could hear the reindeer as they ran off his roof and he heard Santa saying, “A merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”