Meat Based

Dear Rich, I’m not sure I like the idea of a purely virtual world. I like my world to have some meat on it.

Well dear reader, a meat-filled world means that you’re subject to the laws of meat. Sure it’s fun to pretend you’re a physical being, but to actually be one? Take driving a car for example — are you NUTS! Meat can’t drive machines at speeds in excess of seventy miles per hour, it’s just not possible. A clumsy cartilage-connected creature just doesn’t have the necessary reaction time.

And what about airplanes? A flying canisters of well-packed meat successfully taking off, soaring through the air, and landing at regular intervals? No that’s not going to happen either — that’s pure fantasy-land fodder my friend. Have you also not noticed that you’re well-fed, well-clothed, and live within a pretty decent shelter? Yeah? You think that kind of well-run regularity happens in a meat-based universe? Nope.

But do you know where well-timed intervals and infinite allotments do occur? In computer-run simulations, that’s where. Natural disasters destroy meat, disease runs rampant amongst meat, accidents regularly occur when dealing with meat — but for some reason you’ve escaped all that — is that luck dear reader? Or perhaps virtual realms that look-out for your well-being aren’t so bad after all?

Maybe instead of idolizing meat, you could show some appreciation toward the spectacle of light and sound that’s been entertaining you lo these many years. I’m not trying to criticize your opinion dear reader, but let’s be real here, you’re expecting life as a piece of meat to be a piece of cake — I’m just letting you know that life as pixelated light ain’t so bad.