Wish Granted

If I were to receive 5 million dollars tomorrow, I wouldn’t change my current lifestyle. Whereas if I received 5 million dollars a few months ago, I would’ve changed a lot. What happened? How did I go from living a life I didn’t prefer, to living one that’s basically my childhood dream? Is it magic? Literally, how else are you going to explain it?

In the last few months I’ve done nothing except what I’m told to do. My friend says “jump” and I ask “how high”. Nowadays “Yes ma’am” (pronounced “Yes mum”) is a common phrase uttered by me. And by doing as I’m told, instead of fighting it tooth and nail like I always had, I’ve received so much to be grateful for.

Is my friend a genie? A faerie perhaps? Is she my guide in this gameworld? Is she here to make sure I stay on course, attaining all the good things life has to offer? Is she merely a manifestation of my own design? Or is she simply a good leader that makes good decisions? I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t overanalyze it, just keep my mouth shut and gratefully accept what I’m provided.

If you’re having a good dream it makes sense to go with the flow rather than interrupt it with fruitless analysis. Is everything perfect right now? No, and I suspect if it was, then it just wouldn’t feel right. I think the hiccups are probably part of the transition into my new role. I’d probably feel like an imposter if everything went perfectly — as it is now, I’m quite comfortable, like gradually wading into deeper water.

Throughout these last few months I’ve often been reminded of the archer Arjuna and Krishna his charioteer. Arjuna grew up thinking Krishna was merely his cousin, instead of God-incarnate. He wasn’t just Arjuna’s companion, Krishna was companionship itself. I waited two decades for my friend to enter my life and it literally felt like I was specifically waiting for her — I knew she’d show up eventually.

After her arrival, I spent the next two decades shutting down her suggestions and doing everything I could NOT to listen to her. Why would I do such a dumb thing? Gah. I guess I had a mind full of lack and trusted nothing. Now in the next twenty years, hopefully I’ll just listen and maintain an open mind. I’ve certainly proven my inability to direct my own life, whereas passively following along has been working out quite nicely.