Have a Role

So what is the role with which I most identify? Obviously I’ve most identified with my inner-observer. I so often sit still watching life go by. But I don’t mind that, I don’t lament my inactivity, I’m more freaked out when life tries to engage with me. I’m like a tourist inside of a safari vehicle driving through the savannah watching all the action safely from my seat. But if the tour-guide stops the vehicle and asks me to step outside, then that’s a no for me dawg.

I can understand that in order to relate to life, I kinda have to live it a bit. But a bit is enough, just a taste is all it takes. In other words, to enjoy the performance, it’s best if I can connect to the material in some way. Beyond that, I actually do feel confined by certain limitations. For example, whenever I try to do stuff, it doesn’t really work out the way I want it to — so maybe life doesn’t even want me doing things on my own. Maybe I really am supposed to sit still in the audience.

On the other hand, life might just be throwing obstacles in my way in order to provide a challenging experience. That’s what games do, isn’t it — provide hurdles between the start and finish lines. A game without challenge isn’t fun. Competing in a contest and feeling the eventual triumph is always a good time. Maybe I’m just being a baby about it, “Boohoo, life is hard!”. Maybe I just have to accept the challenge and keep pushing forward with what I want to do.

But that’s the question isn’t it — what do I want to do? Frankly, not much.

[Fast forward to the next day…]

In that previous moment of contemplation while considering how uninspired I was, I was struck with an idea to go to Disney with my son. And so that’s what we did. It was an epic adventure too. We explored a newly built area, we took a boat to another park, we got FastPasses and rode rides, as a team we ordered popcorn and paid, we strolled the streets of far-off lands, we ate French pastries, we walked to resorts — it was just an overall good time.

In many ways I’m like a fish in water at Disney. And with a little-boy in tow to wonder at the sights and sounds, we’re the perfect duo to have a Magical Day. Maybe life really is meant for living.