I have a lengthy journey coming up and my mind defaults to potential unpleasantries rather than all the good things. You could say I distrust life. I have a suspicion that all this Earth-stuff is an elaborate ruse to abuse me. It’s an odd perspective I know.
Instead of anticipating the adventure, I envision trials and tribulations that could occur along the way (like what befell cunning Odysseus on his travels home). There’s an onslaught of doom-filled thought.
But I’m hard at work putting out fires left and right to defuse any anxious feelings. And that gets the job done in a way, but I’d rather just feel excited. I suppose I’ll have to concoct something in my imagination to frame this journey as something enjoyable.
Game-day is approaching and these are probably just the pre-game jitters. When the time comes, not only will I lack fear, but I’ll find the fun. You wouldn’t think fun would be such serious business, but I take everything seriously — that’s part of my charm.
Underneath it all, I have no real worry though. It’s kinda like going through the motions of worrying, just a habit I’m attempting to break. I’m done with pessimism and I’m determined to have faith in the goodness of life.
P.S. I have not forgotten about the illusionary nature of reality. Any unpleasantries along the way will only serve as triggers reminding me to consider the fiction of my surroundings. But I’m guessing life will attempt to lull me into forgetting about virtuality by presenting the most pleasant adventure possible. Oh, life!