It’s been about 45 days since I started my virtuality experiment. It does feel a bit strange at times to consider that the world is an artificial construct. Existence isn’t a naturally occurring phenomenon? There’s an underlying narrative and artificiality that maintains it? The more I look, the more I see it too. As part of the experiment, I’m bathed in thoughts of virtuality so it’s self-reinforcing.
Ideally I suppose I want to set my life in the right direction, then forget about all this, then just carelessly play on the playground. By right direction, I mean a positive path filled with merriment. I’m kinda done with the whole pessimist lifestyle of gloom and doom — it just doesn’t match up with what I see anymore — but those default thoughts still linger.
Life hasn’t tried too hard to push me off this path either. But funny enough, ha, I might be going on a trip very soon. It’s a sudden change of plans. Or rather, I had no plans and now I unexpectedly do have plans. Perhaps life is back to its old tricks of attempting to captivate my attention? It does seem suspicious….
But even funnier, ha, is that life is directing me to go to my childhood happy-place. I was adamant about not going back there because I wasn’t pleased when I last left, nor was I interested in such a long journey — yet now I’m headed back there. My friend said, maybe life just wants me to love that place again — I thought that seemed like a reasonable explanation.