The bad news is: you are living in a miserable reality. But the good news is: you created this mess — and as its creator, you have the power to change it.
First: entering into existence is a tumultuous affair, no doubt — who could blame you for being a bit sensitive towards the spectacle of light and sound flashing before you. But that initial anxiousness made you imagine everything as potentially dangerous. You took life much too seriously and literally believed yourself to be a fragile creature struggling for survival. And since then, things have spiraled out of control to the point that you’re wracked with fear and you’re having an unpleasant time.
What you’ve got, is a negative attitude: no matter what life presents you, you twist it into something nefarious. This then frames you and life as opponents: life is trying to kill you, while you’re simply trying to survive. The way out of that hole is to surrender to life, to say:
Ya know what, Life? I understand that if you really wanted to kill me, you could’ve done it quite easily by now, but you haven’t. In fact, you’ve been sustaining me this entire time. I’m sorry for disparaging you every chance I could. I realize that the horrible things I’ve experienced were due to my confusion and pessimism. After considering things, I want to live happily, I want the best of what you have to offer, I don’t want to think of you as my enemy, but as my provider. Thank you Life for what I’ve been provided, and I will strive everyday to consume these gifts with appreciation.